I had a phone call from an angry and desperate wife. She reminded me of myself before I knew about depleted cortisol being the reason Bob would rant on and on once he was mad. (We don't have to live like that anymore.)
She was furious that he didn't seem to care what she
said. I realized that like I once did, she was blaming him for a symptom
of PTSD, emotional numbing, which is a survivor skill when you have
seen and been through the kind of things combat vets see and do. It
keeps you alive and doing your job in combat, but numbing bad feelings
also numbs the good ones. When you ask someone to un-numb, you are
asking them to face an amount of pain that is incomprehensible to us.
Numbness is not personal. It is self protection, but if you don't know that, it sure feels personal.
If this is you, please go read the Post-Traumatic Gazettes # 1 and 2 and After the War at patiencepress.com. It will help you see the suffering person and not the cloud of things that piss you off.